Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Bean King - Post Mortem

All told, I'm not especially happy with this story. I like the idea, and I think the front half actually works pretty well, and Tilman is a pretty good character.

What I don't like is the quality of the actual writing in the back half. I didn't do as well a job as would like in describing, for instance, the animal forms of the townspeople. The idea is that have sort of assumed the shape of wolves, but they aren't wolves. Imagine if someone had created a wolf costume shaped like an actual wolf. The teeth and claws are obsidian, for instance.

Basically, the descriptions here are falling short. This is, fortunately, a problem that can be remedied with another draft.

The other problem is that I'm not happy with some of the word choices, some of which are a little too purple prose. Waaaay too many mentions of snow and shadows, too.

But, all fixable.


Anyhoo, about the actual origin of the story; it's kind of a mash up of two seperate ideas - the mysterious little town, as Stephen King puts it, and the idea of ritual sacrifice.

You can see more about the basic Bean King idea here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bean-feast

Plotwise, such as it is, I like it, but this one is more first draft than most of what I do.


Yes, Edward Drew is a punny name. I couldn't help it.

Why yes, Drew is chubby man with a beard who gives gifts and ends up wearing red and white. This is not related to the above pun.

Drew is, in fact, a former Bean King. Unlike Tilman, he managed to kill the person who held his position, and took the position.

Tilman could have won, although he probably wouldn't have viewed it as such.

Holly Falls is a meaningful name, too. This one actually has an instory reason, rather than me being a cornball.

A small town in Pennsylvania with snow playing a part and supernatural occurances is nothing like Until Dawn. I have no idea what you're talking about, you crazy person.

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